Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Last is Best of All
I'm working two deadlines simultaneously this year; one imposed, one self-imposed. And that's pretty much life, isn't it? Part of our stuff we choose, part of our stuff is given to us. Keeping all my eyes on the balls and keeping all the balls in the air...these are the things that the days are made of.
And so it comes right down to the last: and it's always the same. It's like labor in that you forget what it feels like, as hard as you try to remember, you forget what it feels like until you feel it again. Then the memory comes back right away.
You are jumping through multiple hoops; the reality inside the hoops is an entirely different reality than the reality outside the hoops. The inside reality is speckled with false energy and deceptive light. And it's such a narrow reality, it's doubtful you can make it through all the hoops and back out again. The beast is in your face and you are working with others who are not whole, themselves with their feet to the fire. It is colorful, it is confusing, it is not clear, exactly, and it is highly stimulating, in a dark way. And you can tell that it is dark, because all of a sudden, it is light outside the hoops.
While working to get though the last stuff, I am reminded what's it's like to be the wellspring for the people around you; everyone wants and needs something. And you are the Need Bank. Some come for money. Some need reassurance. Some strength or courage. Some want inspiration. Some want validation. Some come for sustinence and to be fed. Some come...for reasons that aren't exactly clear. All come for the purpose of getting needs met so as to retreat and resume another separate path.
And so it is at the Last, you see many people along the way. Onward to Jerusalem, my destiny.
The 'Kan EWA

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