I know it would be uncomfortable for everyone if I didn't issue a few opinions about a few things that are au courant in New York at the moment. Or at least, kept seeing on a regular basis when I was there a week ago . Graduation -wise, by and large, the drunkest, profanest, most inappropriate people of the hour were...the girls. Yup. The girls. Just who are their mamas?
I'd like to know. Because didn't their mamas go into a few things with them, like for instance, how trivial and silly they look, walking up the aisle to strains of 'Pomp and Circumstance', talking on their cell phone?
Surely, the girls' mother told them, watch what you drink, dear. Party your heart out, but drink 8 oz of water between every cocktail and whatever you do, no matter how happy or upset you may be, just don't issue any profanities. Just don't you do it. Don't do it! Because no matter in what instance you issue them, you will be perceived as loud-mouthed and vulgar. You will. And they were. Filthiest drunkest mouths of the entire week were, heaven help us, the girls. They just don't make a handbag that will cover for that sort of thing, either.
Also, I'd like to meet the mamas to ask what counsel and advice they gave to their daughters that resulted in them putting on cleavage-bearing, ass-grabbing dresses for mass and for commencement? Graduation is not dancing and prowling/trolling in Soho or Alphabet City. It's a professional, joyous event, where believe it or not, employment prospects and career green lights abound. I know what the prospects and green lights were thinking of the girls who showed up looking like The Paris Hilton Faithful, because I was thinking it myself. But I digress. Who are these girls' mamas? And have they been on vacation for the last 10 years?
And further, what would make anyone think an invitation from the Dean of the College of Business Administration to the annual Business School awards ceremony is really a cocktail party and that a cocktail dress is just the thing to strap on? Oh my. So, so, wrong on so many levels. But if we disagree, dear, consider this: what was the Dean wearing? Did she have on a cocktail dress? See? She was wearing a lovely, dressy evening suit, complete with high neck and jacket, with subtle but elegant jewelry. Gosh, maybe in part, that's how she got to be the Dean: she knows what to wear to reassure everyone that she knows exactly where she is at the moment. Apparently, no small task. Lord have mercy.
And what of the shoes? If you are going to be walking across a raised platform of any kind, with thousands of people watching you, why not wear shoes that are easy and graceful to walk in and that you can handle with ease? What's the good of putting an entire auditorium in suspense over whether you'll face plant or graduate first? Who ARE these girls' mothers?
Sadly, I have to give the girls of CBA even further discount because the leadership in CBA, by and large, is women! Classy, bright, tough women run the shop at CBA so if in doubt, all you'd have to do is look around and note what the Deans wear and then adjust up or down. And by the way, you think that when the lights go off Dean Donna Rapaccioli is not capable of expressing her full feminine self? Picture taken after the ceremonies, on the way to the parties. Enough said. Sigh. Having asked where the mothers are, I guess it's only fair to note that I saw them, too. Here and here
I guess that is quite enough said. oh wait! one more thing: what or who in the world would convince you to collect your diploma onstage and then go back to your seat, THEN exit the ceremony early? Are you thinking no one saw you? And more importantly, which faculty member will be willing to write a recommendation for you, if you can't even sit all the way through the ceremony and go out with your class?
Just asking. And please tell your mother I need to catch up with her to go over a few things.
The 'Kan EWA