Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Graduation Wrap-Up

I know it would be uncomfortable for everyone if I didn't issue a few opinions about a few things that are au courant in New York at the moment. Or at least, kept seeing on a regular basis when I was there a week ago . Graduation -wise, by and large, the drunkest, profanest, most inappropriate people of the hour were...the girls. Yup. The girls. Just who are their mamas?

I'd like to know. Because didn't their mamas go into a few things with them, like for instance, how trivial and silly they look, walking up the aisle to strains of 'Pomp and Circumstance', talking on their cell phone?

Surely, the girls' mother told them, watch what you drink, dear. Party your heart out, but drink 8 oz of water between every cocktail and whatever you do, no matter how happy or upset you may be, just don't issue any profanities. Just don't you do it. Don't do it! Because no matter in what instance you issue them, you will be perceived as loud-mouthed and vulgar. You will. And they were. Filthiest drunkest mouths of the entire week were, heaven help us, the girls. They just don't make a handbag that will cover for that sort of thing, either.

Also, I'd like to meet the mamas to ask what counsel and advice they gave to their daughters that resulted in them putting on cleavage-bearing, ass-grabbing dresses for mass and for commencement? Graduation is not dancing and prowling/trolling in Soho or Alphabet City. It's a professional, joyous event, where believe it or not, employment prospects and career green lights abound. I know what the prospects and green lights were thinking of the girls who showed up looking like The Paris Hilton Faithful, because I was thinking it myself. But I digress. Who are these girls' mamas? And have they been on vacation for the last 10 years?

And further, what would make anyone think an invitation from the Dean of the College of Business Administration to the annual Business School awards ceremony is really a cocktail party and that a cocktail dress is just the thing to strap on? Oh my. So, so, wrong on so many levels. But if we disagree, dear, consider this: what was the Dean wearing? Did she have on a cocktail dress? See? She was wearing a lovely, dressy evening suit, complete with high neck and jacket, with subtle but elegant jewelry. Gosh, maybe in part, that's how she got to be the Dean: she knows what to wear to reassure everyone that she knows exactly where she is at the moment. Apparently, no small task. Lord have mercy.

And what of the shoes? If you are going to be walking across a raised platform of any kind, with thousands of people watching you, why not wear shoes that are easy and graceful to walk in and that you can handle with ease? What's the good of putting an entire auditorium in suspense over whether you'll face plant or graduate first? Who ARE these girls' mothers?
Sadly, I have to give the girls of CBA even further discount because the leadership in CBA, by and large, is women! Classy, bright, tough women run the shop at CBA so if in doubt, all you'd have to do is look around and note what the Deans wear and then adjust up or down. And by the way, you think that when the lights go off Dean Donna Rapaccioli is not capable of expressing her full feminine self? Picture taken after the ceremonies, on the way to the parties. Enough said. Sigh. Having asked where the mothers are, I guess it's only fair to note that I saw them, too. Here and here

and here.

I guess that is quite enough said. oh wait! one more thing: what or who in the world would convince you to collect your diploma onstage and then go back to your seat, THEN exit the ceremony early? Are you thinking no one saw you? And more importantly, which faculty member will be willing to write a recommendation for you, if you can't even sit all the way through the ceremony and go out with your class?

Just asking. And please tell your mother I need to catch up with her to go over a few things.

The 'Kan EWA


Lindsey said...

Well, I most certainly hope that my daughter will have a little more sense, and if she doesn't... I am most certainly dead. :)

JBelle said...

don't worry. I will step in. She will wear a nice dress with long sleeves for the awards ceremony. A dark colored dress with jacket for mass and a lovely white dress under her gown for graduation. As it'll be a sunny day, she'll be perfectly fine with no jacket or sweater. She'll wear 2-3 inch heels, no stilettos, no flip flops and she'll have a quiet, non-descript, functional but pretty handbag that will be with me for most of the festivities. Her cellphone will be in her handbag, too. I've got it all planned. She will be perfect. All will breath in reverently: whooooisssherrrmother?????? And I'll tell 'em too! ;)

The Fool said...

You made me smile, Cheech. I sure hope my son doesn't fall for one of those New Yorker Mommas...certainly poor breeding stock...and just not fit for grandkids (let alone the job market). Alaskan girls have it easy...jeans and boots sans make-up is proper attire anywhere.


Carla said...

Unbelievable. It just confirms my suspicion that for many it's all about them, they think the world turns around them and to them, nothing else matters. Where have the manners gone? Where I ask you? Educated does not guarantee intelligence and apparently class is something you're born with or not, regardless of your station in life.

JBelle said...

Foolish Dude! No kidding! A flannel and a well-oiled pair of Whites is appropriate anywhere! And when you wear no make-up, you completely avoid that too much, over the top problem that sometimes is hard to dodge with a long day and many touch ups. Lord, your note was a relief. A RELIEF. thank you.

JBelle said...

all kidding aside, I am quite amused at the reaction I get on the weekends here in The Kan EWA. I am a professional woman and dress as such at the office. On the weekends, I dress in what you'd wear on Marble Mountain behind the St. Joe River. It's me. I wash and comb my hair. Just don't style or blow dry it. Don't wear make up. People think I'm sick. People think I'm having a fight with Joe Montana. People think it's odd. But then they think it's odd I travel alone, too. But it is how it is. And I would never wear a cocktail dress or sport cleavage at an academic event. Just wouldn't do it. sniff.

JBelle said...

Carla, Unfortunately, I think you are right. Because everytime, I would say, to myself or my own daughter, Where the hell is her mother?! I would see the mother. And then I'd understand. And here's another question now: are these the same mothers who storm the Dean's office when their daughters don't get the grade they want? At the same university, I witnessed a mother verbally bludgeoning the university president after welcome remarks at Parents' Weekend because she didn't like the grade her child was getting. I don't remember what she was wearing because she had her back to me, but I wonder. I just wonder....

Inland Empire Girl said...

As you well know "you reap what you sow". Yes, I join you 100% at being appalled at the phone at the ear/high heels/leaving early mentality. It does make you wonder about the mothers. I too have witnesses the too much too drink/ foul language syndrome... not pretty at all. Sometimes I feel like a square, but just today I had a "fashion talk" with a student about her straps showing and another one with a student wearing a skirt way to short. I sure do try! No wonder they call me their mother hen!