Had a trauma recently that I'm only up to talking about just now. It all started with that guy who's in my office quite often and enjoys my art collection by...walking around and touching everything. True story. He loves to touch and touch he does, the assemblage, the acrylic, the paper, the ceramic, the water color, the textile, all of it. He touches.
As he is a valued source of revenue for this office, I maintain my composure no matter how I want to snap his grubby
mitts as they probe, finger and caress my muses, my wellsprings of inspiration and devotion that aid me in communing with the numbers. I love this guy. I hate his hands.So. I say to myself, JBelle, old girl, he's gotta touch. Since you're definitely out of bounds, put something else out. What can he touch that would give him pleasure and satisfy his need to tactilely explore and express himself? Cretan that he is.
Having had the collection affliction from a very young age, there is a wide variety of distraction possibilities around the office, a big assortment of things to touch that won't suffer wear and will provide diversion from the other touching possibilities. And dang, if the exact right touchable thing didn't present itself immediately: the quarter collection. Yes, the 50 State Quarters Collection, began in 1999.
I love the quarters. I love 'em! And clean and polished to a high sheen, they are quite satisfying to roll around in the palm of your hand and to chink and to clutch. I love the quarters. I have them on my back desk in a ceramic dish, an early work of one of our premier artists fashioned in his pre-school art class. This particular ceramic dish could create a nicely serious head injury if used acccordingly and because it's heavy, I keep it on my desk and play with the quarters when I talk on the phone. The Chows say they go online every morning to count and play with their money and to make sure someone hasn't stolen their identity. But I digress.
I digress. Maybe because what happened next is too horrible to contemplate.
JBelle
Bellemaison
The 'Kan EWA
23 comments:
whoa!
"Unfortunately, my parents loathed each other and the life they had built together. Because I was the product of their genetic fusion, well, it's not surprising I liked to boil my change on the stove and then shine it with metal polish."
---from the anxiety-ridden author, Augusten Burroughs, in his biography, "Running with Scissors"
Schmeebsie, my precious achieving One...I am guessing there will be a lot more quarter shining when Shorty begins his travels.
/looking under the sink for her polishing rag
C'mere, let me help you with that.
do you KNOW that he boiled his change? or do you think that's literary license? I mean, does that work? boiling it? because I'll boil it, if it makes it prettier.
Vinegar, thats what ya need, you have to soak them in vinegar and they will shine like stars in the night...
x
vinegar! M, I think you're the definitive authority, being the pounds sterling person and all....xoxo
Is that Indian chief a chainsaw carving?
who wants to know?
:)
Let me just say this, getting banned from HBO takes a little getting used to.
omg! Notes From The 'Kan EWA is now political asylum for HBO? The Chows are really gonna be delighted. This might make their whole summer.
Chief Joseph Debit/Credit was hand carved by an artist out of Jackson Hole Wyoming.
Jackson must sure of had a large hole if an artist was carving out of it........... :) x
ok, to rude right?
It was a huge hole, Mel. HUGE. Whenever you are ready, I'll take you right down there.
ok. I could be so very rude right now but I so wont LOL
x
Actually, vinegar works quite well, but the water left over from boiling potatoes works quite well too.
I got 'em soaking in vinegar as we speak. V: :P
Is it best to boil the vinegar?
I dunno. They got a good soak going on now. but if they don't shine like the stars by 4 am this morning, I am going to boil 'em.
Just decided.
btw, I am finally getting around to putting away the stuff I bought at the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale. Would one of agree to otherwise distract me next year? jmj!
Did you know that if you soak conkers in vinegar over night it well hardens them, so that way ya can beat all the other soft-arsed conkers...... I had me a 6er once, this Autumn Im gonna thrash me lads at conkers and claim the conker cup :)
ps.. I know thats off thread BUT it was the vinegar that threw another door to me mind open lol xx
Nothing off thread here , Mel. This conker information is quite timely as me lad is coming home soon. I think he's in for a thrashing of his own.
what about good old silver polish?
soak 'em in tarn-x jewelry cleaner first, then follow up with silver polish.
vinegared them overnight to no avail. they were only mildly responsive.
is the rumor true??? are you going to the Ritz in Boston soon? if so, I will stalk you in an effort to crash and buy the drinks.
You see I think the Ritz in Boston is for the Puritans. Really. All Protestants in there. And with no escape hatch available via confession, they are dull and righteous. All is pants with golden retrievers embroidered all over them, too. The men wear pink and the women wear blue. yeccch.
Will you just LOOK at how rumors get started. Hmph.
"Where do the phenomenological buddhists drink in Boston?", she asked, knowing this was a set-up for the perfect punchline.
He's here all weekend ladies and gentlemen; be sure to tip your waitress!!
(laughing out loud!) (still)
(wait! the Chows are all out there snickering, too! can you hear them?)
If you want to shine the pennies (this from the peasant, me) use lemon juice and salt. Sure did it for the copper bottom pots my mother had, and who made me clean them in my slaverly times of her kitchen, when I was sink high.
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