Lotta folks have caught up with me, saying, Whoa Whoa Whoa JBelle! Yer goin' way too fast! Back up, start at the beginning and don't leave a thing out! What happened at the wedding?! Well, folks, I'll tell ya; here's what happened:
It was a hot and sunny afternoon and we all gathered in the courtyard of this very posh hotel to witness the wedding vows between our MVP Mueller Girl and her very hott Timothy I, who used to be Timothy II but got sent up to the Bigs on November 12, 2005. Anyway, a couple of months ago, we received a wedding invitation that was BROWN. True story. I started to think to myself, I sure am glad my mother is not around to see this buuut, as the whole thing was pretty well done I thought, well okay, we'll see. The invite had a FEATHER on it! So we arrive at this courtyard, done up to emulate the sanctuary of a church (couldn't fool JBelle,though, it was a hotel), and strewn down the aisle in the most delicate of manner were feathers. uh huh. FEATHERS. The usher hands me the program and on the cover it says,
"It takes a special moment, a sacred space, to see the beauty of the feather, and if you have paused long enough to notice, and stopped long enough to pick it up, you can be assured you are on the right path. "
The plot begins to thicken. The bridesmaids come down the aisle in brown silk dresses, much like the prom dresses of the mid '60s; definitely a Jackie Kennedy/Oleg Cassini look. Their bouquets were the deep ruby, gold, orange of fall, but with nice, rich, garnet brown feathers. True! Then the bride comes down the aisle and the air, all of it, is sucked out of the courtyard at that very moment, with the vortex of this nuclear force right at Our Girl's feet. She was a vision. No exaggeration. No hyperbole. No shit. She was a vision. She floated down the aisle, deeply happy on her father's arm and he: serenely peaceful in turning her over and becoming Timothy II. What a way to retire. We all cried for the second time.
Well into the ceremony, a prayer of remembrance was issued for the people now gone who wait for us, including my parents. Never saw it coming. Tears for the third time. But we were just getting started.
There were, to be honest, some highly confusing moments that made me wonder if times have changed, if we have all gotten older, if we have mellowed? Take for instance, the end of the cermony, where the bride and groom release those doves into the azure of the Arizona sky. All those rednecks from North Idaho and not one 12 gauge shotgun comes out? Fifteen years ago, them birds never wudda made it.
Can you really take the North Idahoans out of the woods?
The 'Kan EWA