Tuesday, October 18, 2005

My friend Tisa stopped by today with a little help with those pesky details of life that nobody wants to think about. T always was the most organized among us and I appreciate her catching up with me. Good to know somebody's got my back.

New Living Will Form

I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it.If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for:(please initial all that apply)

_________a Bloody Mary,
_________a margarita,
_________a beer,
_________a steak,
_________ lobster or crab legs,
________ the remote control,
________ a bowl of ice cream,
________ a plate of enchiladas,
_______ a martini,
_______ some bar-b-q,

it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed personal and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention instead to the future of the millions of Americans who aren't in a permanent coma.

Date: ___________________________
Witness: __________________________e.

Although she claims to be from Virginia, I really think T is from North Idaho.

The 'Kan EWA


Bre said...

That's too funny! Now I'm craving some Red Lobster.

stebbijo said...

Yeah it is!

Question: Why are you not listed on HBO? You need to be there!

jb3ll3 said...

dunno! never come up! DFO undoubtedly is skerd, ril skerd...

Bre said...

I could have sworn you used to be listed on HBO and then one day you weren't then I found you again on Stebbi's site.

jb3ll3 said...

Bre, Honestly! I wasn't aware of being listed, if I ever was. If he put me on, the paper would probably have to increase their liability insurance (sigh)