tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13939465.post3566731332974802504..comments2023-06-03T05:07:51.171-07:00Comments on notes from: JBellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06058881790600891805noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13939465.post-59978610805680060512007-01-25T15:56:00.000-08:002007-01-25T15:56:00.000-08:00WHAT
REALLY
MORE
CAN
BE
SAID
HERE?
Jesus.
JESUS!
...WHAT<br />REALLY<br />MORE<br />CAN<br />BE<br />SAID<br />HERE?<br /><br />Jesus.<br />JESUS!<br /><br />The outpouring here has blown me away, and humbled me.<br />/drying tears<br /><br />(((((Marm)))))green libertarianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06014934312741784769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13939465.post-74402093966452455562007-01-24T15:50:00.000-08:002007-01-24T15:50:00.000-08:00Duffer, oh my! we'll have to connect at the HBO b...Duffer, oh my! we'll have to connect at the HBO blogfest!JBellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06058881790600891805noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13939465.post-3881283231278383372007-01-24T14:41:00.000-08:002007-01-24T14:41:00.000-08:00JBelle,
I've been racking my mind trying to figure...JBelle,<br />I've been racking my mind trying to figure out what business your father operated. I've been in your apparent hometown for 40 years, but can't come up with a name where the "M" was displayed. Would you give me a hint?<br />Thanks,<br />DufferAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13939465.post-89283927277029132442007-01-24T09:42:00.000-08:002007-01-24T09:42:00.000-08:00You are in the will and I think you are going to b...You are in the will and I think you are going to be pleased with me when the time comes. I will gratified for all time that you and ToadGirl named your third child for me. Belle. It's a gorgeous name.JBellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06058881790600891805noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13939465.post-49107591593717599372007-01-24T06:40:00.000-08:002007-01-24T06:40:00.000-08:00"Sell the furniture, auction the art, put the jewe...<i>"Sell the furniture, auction the art, put the jeweley and the silver, china and crystal on consignment."</i><br /><br />You forgot "And give toad the CD collection and DVD collection." I <i>am</i> in the will, am I not?...https://www.blogger.com/profile/06899700977986759414noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13939465.post-85588510643710945752007-01-23T03:33:00.000-08:002007-01-23T03:33:00.000-08:00If only you knew!!! sigh!! If only someone knew!!!...If only you knew!!! sigh!! If only someone knew!!!....sigh!!<br /><br />xMarmiteToastyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02536695634856882487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13939465.post-59092945813783483302007-01-22T08:59:00.000-08:002007-01-22T08:59:00.000-08:00Your dad hated his life and was very, very angry a...<em>Your dad hated his life and was very, very angry and you were sadly, tragically,cruelly where he acted on that keen unhappiness.</em><br /><br />Yes, and...<br /><br />been there, wrote the book, bought the t-shirt and have been spending the better part of this lifetime trying to transmute that garment into pure white light...not unlike cleaning toilets, metaphorically speaking, heh.<br /><br />*sigh<br /><br />*breathing in, breathing out<br /><br />Schmeebs, thanks for the reminder. It's always good to see the projection returned to its rightful owner.<br /><br />---Leon's current assignmenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10241933206820579199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13939465.post-41839585918912022852007-01-21T18:01:00.000-08:002007-01-21T18:01:00.000-08:00Pup, Those letters have toughed it out and made it...Pup, Those letters have toughed it out and made it to 2007. what's to become of them? They have survived too many close calls to go to the dump now. Sell the furniture, auction the art, put the jeweley and the silver, china and crystal on consignment. But those damn letters--don't let go of the letters, okay?JBellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06058881790600891805noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13939465.post-9868320331079195012007-01-21T17:03:00.000-08:002007-01-21T17:03:00.000-08:00GLib, I am really, really glad to hear that. I th...GLib, I am really, really glad to hear that. I think about just that and think about him healthy and well and wonder what that looks like. I was so happy to receive a confirmation number on that thought!<br /><br />Ah, Sweet, Sweet Mel. Those brothers can be really treacherous, right? I am positive you didn't do one thing to merit your father's rejection. It fact, hear me now, I speak the truth: it's not your fault. <br /><br />It's not your fault.<br /><br />It's not your fault. <br /><br />IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. <br /><br />You know, I would not lie to you, patronize you, flatter you, nor gloss over any of the hard realities in life because Sister, we gotta be there for each other. See that' s the part you had no way of knowing: my father was the King of emotionally absent Fathers and it wasn't until he got sick that I became really, really important in his life, critically important in fact, because those brothers had jobs and families and YOU KNOW how much time and effort sick parents take. And my dad was sick and very difficult for a long, long time. So our relationship had two phases: the first one, where he ignored me and would never acknowledge me nor the legitimacy of my existence, despite my accomplishments and character; and the second one, where he abused me and everyone in his wake, in his highly demented state. <br /><br />So I think about what our relationship might have been like if he hadn't had a daughter to figure out what the heck to do with--he never did figure that one out so he defaulted in favor of control until the evening he died. And he did an absolutely beautiful job of that. <br /><br />Mel, I just reread your note, again, and I certain of what occured to me the first time I read it: your dad didn't hate you. Your dad hated his life and was very, very angry and you were sadly, tragically,cruelly where he acted on that keen unhappiness. What happened between you and him was not your fault. It was very bad luck for you to get him. I like to say that my dad wasn't much of a dad but he was the only one I had. ANd I work, still, to find his goodness and wholeness and cherish that. Frankly, I'd rather clean toilets in an Exxon as it would be much easier and nicer work but the pay on this work is better so I persist. If I prevail, I'll let you know. :)<br /><br />Your Holiness, thank you for being a sweet, soft light on my path. You make it easier. <br /><br />All for now. And Toad, that plant does not need watering, but pruning instead, which I did yesterday. More on the cactuses later. xoJBellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06058881790600891805noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13939465.post-66619291565489987812007-01-21T16:06:00.000-08:002007-01-21T16:06:00.000-08:00ps..... Wendy.... its not the fact that I did anyt...ps..... Wendy.... its not the fact that I did anything as a child, it was the fact that I even existed..... ask me another day and maybe I will explain - 'well ard' right? :)<br /><br />xMarmiteToastyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02536695634856882487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13939465.post-7965783151261033202007-01-21T14:48:00.000-08:002007-01-21T14:48:00.000-08:00Wonderfully written story, awesome sentiment...and...Wonderfully written story, awesome sentiment...and heart felt. My father is still alive, and I respect him greatly, though we differ in so many ways, and don't communicate well at all.<br /><br />Also, nice office. Good choice of placement of the letter. I wish I had a view like yours.<br /><br />Oh, by the way, that little plant looks like it could do with a bit of a watering....https://www.blogger.com/profile/06899700977986759414noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13939465.post-45016288874967024782007-01-21T14:33:00.000-08:002007-01-21T14:33:00.000-08:00Jebus...... almost as many stories about this, as ...Jebus...... almost as many stories about this, as I have on MrFabs site about me pets LMFAO.....<br /><br />*cough..... I often did speak out... gobby ya see, but it was different back then.. no one to help ya..... but I knew what was right and wrong, so I would speak out and get the beatings... :) thats why Im such a 'well ard' git lmfao......<br /><br />I could write one of them books lmfao.....<br /><br />When my lads reached certain ages in life, I would go back to that time in my life and hope that they didnt have the same thoughts about me as I had about my parents at the same age....... god so many stories.... sighhh <br /><br />xMarmiteToastyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02536695634856882487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13939465.post-13686794790584915682007-01-21T12:04:00.000-08:002007-01-21T12:04:00.000-08:00Gawds sake!!!!
Christ :( - Ive read this most bea...Gawds sake!!!!<br /><br />Christ :( - Ive read this most beautiful post 3 or 4 times, each time stepping away from the screen to blow me nose and wipe me eyes....<br /><br />Such love, such wonderful love..... oh how proud you dad would have been of you and your family..... he would be plucking them chest hairs out with proudness...... when I look at that huge red 'M' it makes this warmth come over me bubbling inside... I keep going back to the picture to have that feeling over and over..... sigh....<br /><br />God!! To have had a father like your dad must of been heaven itself..... keep all precious memories forever....<br /><br />My dad hated me.... I suppose he had his reasons.... I know of them now, but I to this day can not believe them, but then there is so much unbelieveable shit that went on...... I remember once when I was about 10... it must of been a day when I had my Brave Head on lol...... I remember it as if it was yesterday, as I do all my memories..... I said to him..'I know you dont love me, but do you like me just a little' ... he knocked me across the room LOL there was my answer..... I also remember back before then, I must of been about 7/8 and one of me brothers was 9/10, and we was sitting on the top of the stairs planning how we was gonna kill him when we was adults and dump his body in the river that ran through the dumps at the bottom of the close where we lived lol (that river was actually a stream and only about 3 foot deep lmfao)... my brother told my dad and I had to have the week off of school cos of the beating lmfao..... <br /><br />Later in life as an adult I found out why he hated me so much..... they were NOT justifiable.. oh well... so many memories.... shit I think I have only ever told 2 people that story..... shutting up now lmfao<br /><br />But I loved that man to the day he died.... I can truely say that... never got a chance to ask him so many unanswered questions, never got to say goodbye, never got a change to go to the funeral.... such a fucking mess......<br /><br />The only thing I have of my fathers, is a pair of his glasses.... when all this things were split between my other sister and brothers (not me lol - like the last twisted knife from the grave) - my brother gave me his specticle case... and sometimes I get them out of the cupboard and just hold them......<br /><br />OK Ive said way way to fucking much..... sorry...... in tears now for the love you had of your wonderful father (((((((((((JBelle)))))))))xxx<br /><br />xMarmiteToastyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02536695634856882487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13939465.post-88152926365269022242007-01-21T09:45:00.000-08:002007-01-21T09:45:00.000-08:00PS Responding with ingenuity, desire and tenacity...PS Responding with ingenuity, desire and tenacity is a soul goal. I also like "integrity" and "authenticity", which you happen to have in spades!!!!!!!!!!<br /><br />You flippin' GODDESS, you.<br /><br /><br />----Leon's current assignmenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10241933206820579199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13939465.post-81796936430983154362007-01-21T03:47:00.000-08:002007-01-21T03:47:00.000-08:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.MarmiteToastyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02536695634856882487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13939465.post-87182534969425177172007-01-20T21:41:00.000-08:002007-01-20T21:41:00.000-08:00Your Dad is doing just fine, Jbelle, much better, ...Your Dad is doing just fine, Jbelle, much better, much much better. I get this directly from the spirits in the material world.<br /><br />As you know, the view from the upper floors of the America West Bank building is the best, you can see the solar panels we put up on the Community Building, and soon, the 100 or so panels we'll be putting up on the old Hotel Saranac.<br /><br /><i>But ultimately, our journey will be complete, and successful, when we can look back and know that we responded with ingenuity, desire, and tenacity and never gave in to boredom, skepticism, despair or defeat.</i><br /><br />Very well said.green libertarianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06014934312741784769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13939465.post-4860966732950466882007-01-20T19:21:00.000-08:002007-01-20T19:21:00.000-08:00OMG! The letters! I have always LOVED the letters ...OMG! The letters! I have always LOVED the letters and have been anxiously awaiting their return! Southwark Lad and I have had some contentious debates over whose SoHo/Pearl District loft they will hang in...Magnifico! I'm glad to see it! I think it's a perfect fit, and I'm sure Pom would agree!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com